blue_eyes_v

Sun, 30 Sep 2007 10:47:12 GMT

Finally, I just got back from China this morning after a 12 hour flight, I'm not the best person when it comes to flying as i get a touch of motion sickness and it does get boring. However it was a good trip, i climbed the great wall, walked around the Imperial gardens, visited the summer palace, went on a boat ride and was transported by cart with a guy riding a $2 push bike that had a brick as a break to stop cars from smashing into me, i swear i have never been so nervous in my life everyone in China drives like they want to have an accident, there is no such thing as giving way and they are allowed to turn right when at a red light providing that think they can make it, so of course i witnessed so many punch up's on the holiday due to road accidents, however due to the population and the amount of cars, it is hard for anyone to do any real damage it's all just scratches really. I was also shocked at the amount of times that the men over there stared at me and pointed, some even tried to grab me and touch me, i guess many people may find this to be flattering but when every guy you walk past stares at you it makes you feel like something is wrong with your appearance, however i just went along with it all and still enjoyed myself even when dad would jump in front of me and suddenly pull me away from some of the men that i didn't see coming, he was really protective of me which i guess he always has been but it made me kinda sad that he was having to look over his shoulder every two seconds because he was worried. Oh well. Anyways, I'm glad to be home i have come back with chanel tops, purses and sunglasses, as well as gucci and D&G accessories i was so good at barganing so it was all so cheap, my friends should love what i am giving to them, oh and another thing, it was so different not having to worry about buying a gift for cropley as i did every year without even thinking twice, i guess i missed him this trip as i knew he wouldn't be waiting for me to ring when i touched down at melbourne, however that was quickly forgotten when Caitlin, rose, emmi and a few other people rang me straight away saying that they missed me and asked if they could see me as soon as i had a rest, but it's just not the same i suppose, it's like something is really missing but i cant find it. Anyway i guess the main point was that it was a great trip probably one of the best.

Wed, 22 Aug 2007 00:37:09 GMT

I went to the gym yesterday for an hour and a half with a friend for weights training and today I am seriously finding it hard to move.

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 09:14:13 GMT

I have been really sick over the last couple of days symptoms as follows, vomiting, coughing, dizziness, and coolest of all seeing things that definitely arent real, I've never really had hallucinations before so it was like as i would assume being on drugs is like and it was fucking annoying.
Anyway i ended up staying at Andrew's house to get some peace and quiet, and he ended up taking the day off his work, Im not sure if that was to look after me or just have a day off but it was good.

Oh and apologies for my angst on the previous post i was meant to set it to private but fucked it up. Thanks for the nice comment Spoon. :)

Wed, 25 Jul 2007 11:12:29 GMT

I almost forgot i had this thing so im going to use it to write about this, I have recently been bonding with two girls at my work (safeway) for sometime now and our friendship has really blossomed over the past month. Their names are Caitlin (16) and Emmi (21). It's funny how different they are to me yet they remind me of me so much. Caitlin is of a solid build and is really out there and crazy which can be looked at, at times as being both good and bad.

Caitlin reminds me of me when i was her age. I had exactly the same stories and feelings as she does now, ie, best friend kisses boy who you liked and then huge fights and arguments and a complete gathereing of alliances at school within your class to try and fuck over the other person like they did you all happens. It all happened to me only difference was that she had her mum there for her and all my mum said was that i was a bullshit drama queen actress who had to get over it.

Anyway the main point of this blog is for me to express how my mum has treated me over the years and i dont really care who knows it, most people who are friends with me or have met her have instantly said how do you feel when she says this?, or why is she so mean to you?, which makes me think, why is she?

well all this ego shit started when she started working for my dad and his company. She started of part time because my brother was still in primary school and i was only in year 7 so evidently she figured that we were still to young to have the responsibility of getting home safely, which suited me fine because i loved coming home and telling her about my day and having her actually care, but it all just stopped when she just dropped everything into my lap when i was 14 and my brother was 12 and only in year 7, she said one day at dinner that she was going full time at work so i would have walk John home and put on dinner which started off fine until i began playing the role of a mother and a sister to my brother, we would walk the 22 minute walk home everyday and he would open up to me about how school is hard for him because he has dyslexia and that some of the other boys teased him, and which teachers he liked and which ones gave himm a lot of trouble, and the boys he made friends with and how some of his homework was hard and that he didnt understand it and wanted me to explain it, so i guess it was sad for me to see how mum wasn't there for him like she should have been.

I mean i tried to approach her about and she would just say in a nasty tone, ï take days off," or "John doesn't say that im not there for him," and i try and explain that he doesn't think so because im there for him, and just to give you an idea, i was there for his first job interview, first A at school, i was told about who bullied him at school on his first day, i got the first quiestions about what girls like because he wanted to impress some girl, i was the first person to give any advice to him before anyone else, i was the first person to hear everything that happened that day and then came second and third times and so on and so forth and it still happens to this day only we dont walk home together.

In fact i was really upset the other day because John said to me, If it wasnt for you raising me the way you did and giving me all the advice you did, i would probably be a messed up person." That just pisssed me of because he should say that to his fucking mother, i shouldnt have been the one to raise him because my mum was sick of being a housewife and prefered using her marriage and last name as an excuss to be promoted to what ever the hell she felt like and telling people with more qualifications then herself that they are now under her thumb and had to do what she said when they were told, yet she denies that she does that even thoough my brother have looked on in sheer embarassment and still have to.

so here is the opposing argument, she says she works for us, yet how we were living before and how we lived when she started working is no different and we still went away every year however that is only done because mum says she works for us to do it so we must habe been getting loans before then.

Oh and as for my dad, i have all the respect for him in the world because when he rings he wants to know what we have been doing and he really does want to know, and he complimets everything john and i achieve, however mum says that's good but you have to do more, you can do better and your just lazy or dis-organised and here is the hypocryte who cant find her fucking shoes, or who makes me fill out and sign out the same old forms for us to go away constantly. it has just ficking possed me off all these years and i dont get along with her and i always want to explode and tell her what i really think about her and her telling me what i should eat and what i shouldnt etc.

Fuck, why couldn't she have just asked what we wanted instead of thinking about herself, it has ruined me as a person.

Present ideas

Tue, 13 Feb 2007 00:32:16 GMT

What can i get Cropley for his birthday? *thinks*

Tue, 02 Jan 2007 09:49:55 GMT

OMG Jess' car broke down in Frankston on the fucking freeway last night it ran clean out of petrol, I was so scared some maniac would either hit out car or try and help us. Fuck, It was bad waiting for 1hr 45min for her mum to bring petrol so to pass time by i stared at any sudden movements in the bushes like a hawk. Oh and called everyone to let them know where i was and why i was there. WOOOO.

Mon, 18 Dec 2006 23:55:40 GMT

I haven't used this in a while. Let's see, Went to Cropley's Christmas party a while ago to mingle with his family and tended to answer the question of, where is Andrew? a lot, to which I replied in the office playing with his wii, I got a lot of strange looks from everyone who was 40+ but oh well I couldn't be bothered explaining what it actually was but it should be forgotten by now.

Also went to trivia for the first time due to a guy named John who wanted to meet me and to conveniently give Scott a lift. I was also able to catch up with a lot of other people who had said that they hadn't seen me in ages. Huh gone are the days where i used to see them every day twice a day or at least once every two weeks. But anyway it was a good night i will probably go again.

I also went Christmas shopping and have already spent $500 on various gifts for people and I'm still going.:(

Tue, 28 Nov 2006 02:54:59 GMT

SOMEONE NEEDS TO TEACH MY MUM HOW TO COOK.

Mon, 20 Nov 2006 03:16:43 GMT

Huh, I did the prison name quiz that i saw on spoon's Lj and it said my name was NUT BUSTER. That is very me according to every-one of Cropley's friend's they all tend to think that i whip him all day every day. Anyway i will let you decide what you think, in my opinion it has to be done by one of the two or three.
Oh and for all time sake, D'bob my mouth watering blow job you rock! I want your pants more.:)

Sun, 12 Nov 2006 03:44:38 GMT

Time to use this thing. Went out to dinner last night to celebrate the coming of my birthday, it was very fun due to the fact that i was able to catch up with all my friends from school this includes, D'bob, Jess, Laura, Adele and her boyfriend and other friends from outside of my old school friends. We had a very good night plenty of laughs and memories came up from the past and everyone seemed to enjoy the ongoing conversation even though we were talking about Disney films and how most of them have sex related or pedophile related, it's amazing the things you learn. Anyway
time to watch Cropley do something to his car, should be interesting.

Thu, 17 Aug 2006 04:13:13 GMT

Omg i have been so busy lately i don't even know where to start. hmm maybe here, The other weekend i went out with Jess, Cory and Cropley to Crown Casino and i won a profit of $5 "hooray" and as for everyone else, Cory must have lost $200 on the tables alone, Jess had what she came in with originally and cropley won something like $45. However i couldn't believe how much money Cory lost that night, but hey at least we had fun I think we ended up leaving at around 2 in the morning and on the way home Cropley was driving like a maniac for Cory's enjoyment however i woke up the next morning with a red mark along my neck and the right side of my bust from the seat belt which looked really awkward but oh well.

Then the following weekend or the one after Cropley told me that i was invited to the Mountview party for their trivia efforts so i went along and met a wide variety of people but didn't really take to them so i sat on the couch with spoon and Amy and just spoke about stupid shit and offered to drive them home because they had commitments the next day. After i had dropped them off i started thinking about the last time i had been drunk because i had told spoon earlier that i havent been drunk at all this year nor have i even had any alcholic beverage this year because i always drive people home so I'm going to spoon's to get drunk some time which should happen in literally 2 minutes but it will be good. Oh well that's about it i have to take Radar for a walk now.

Sun, 30 Jul 2006 09:23:09 GMT

It's almost the end of the month again and i haven't managed to get anything done that i had planned but I'm sure I'm not the only one.
Oh and hooray, Louise and Bill get back form their holiday today and will hopefully NOT find out that i stayed for most of the week as i thought they were cool with it but, when i spoke to Louise on the phone she didn't seem to have any idea, ("Thanks Cropley").

P.S- The movie last night was awesome and i would recommend it to anyone, however Gold Class would have been a better option due to some scenes dragging on and the seats feeling like rocks towards the ending.

Tierd/excited

Sat, 29 Jul 2006 07:03:05 GMT

I woke up at 3 o' clock this morning and couldn't get back to sleep until 5, this seems to be happening quite a lot recently and I seem to just think of things that annoy and trouble me. This may not seem abnormal to anyone else but it really annoys me, especially when i have to get up to go to the shit hole that i call work at 7 o' clock in the morning.

Anyway on a much better note, I am going to see Pirates of the Caribbean 2, however i must add that i don't find Johnny Depp attractive at all in fact i think that Orlando Bloom is better.